Domesticate more animals, scientists

With technology, bioengineering, and gambling being at the epic heights they are, I'm fairly certain we could have progressed much further than we have in the pets category. We've been pretty friggin' limited in the western world with our dogs, cats, hamsters, and goldfish, and it seems to me that there are leaps and bounds to be made here. I mean, at one point, dogs were outtacontrol wild too, biting the children's hands off and whatnot, but now we've got them leashed up and begging for bacon and sausages that are not even REAL. Hell, we've even got them dressed up in trenchcoats doing anti-crime PSAs.

And cats just suck all the time. God cats suck.

Furthermore, I've read news stories about domesticated leopards and ponies and pigs and shit, and I'm sure we've got the genetics and robots to make this a reality. Also, once you fully domesticate the beasts, they become priceless items of society, irreplaceable gems in our family crowns, provided that they're cute, non-violent, and not shitting on everything you own and cherish. This last quality is the hardest to come by. I know humans that can't resist this temptation. Namely me.

Here's the thing. We can do a little two-birds-one-stone bit here by saving endangered animals - not that I really care. But if people want these currently scarce creatures in their homes, and they become a commodity, then they're certain to return to plentiful abundance. GREAT!

I've skimmed the official list of endangered animals. Here's a list of some animals we can take to the next level by making them sit, stay, and rollover:

The Alligator Snapping Turtle:



The Malgasy Giant Jumping Rat:



And... The Whitehead's Trogon:



Those are all real animal names. I probably could have done better with the image selection. And the animal selection. But you get the point.

Man up, families of America. Get yourself a fucking Trogon already. You're slowly killing them with your unending love of puppies. Or cats, but I'll never understand that one.

-giantsnappingtrogon