Blackwater Hires Prostitutes As "Legitimate" Business Expense Using Government Coin -- Elliot Spitzer Absolved

These are parts of a real news story in the Washington Post:

"Two former employees of Blackwater Worldwide have accused the private security contractor of defrauding the government for years with phony billing, including charging for a prostitute, alcohol and spa trips."

"The Davises assert that Blackwater officials kept a Filipino prostitute on the company payroll for a State Department contract in Afghanistan, and billed the government for her time working for Blackwater male employees in Kabul. The alleged prostitute's salary was categorized as part of the company's "Morale Welfare Recreation" expenses"

More here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/11/AR2010021100232.html?hpid=topnews

RULES NO LONGER EXIST. If a government contracted company (no less, one paid to fight in a war we actually want no part of) can legitimize having a Filipino hooker on staff, then we are now able to do whatever the fuck we want. End of story.

If this is let slide, the future business I intend to run is going to have a whole host of things devoted to "Morale Welfare Recreation". In fact, I might go as far as to have 50% of my staff be Filipino whores. Have you seen what they can do with ping pong balls?! Otherworldly.

Furthermore, when half your staff is hookers and their job is simply to satisfy the rest of the staff, you'll never have morale issues on hand, you'll never lose a good male employee to a better paying situation (because men will take a solid beej over a fistfull of cash 99% of the time), and you'll never have to deal with sexual harassment lawsuits ever again! World, you may now rejoice!

Okay, so it puts all women out of a job unless they attempt to compete, but that sounds pretty righteous too.

Okay, so as not to be entirely prejudiced, maybe we'll offer Chip n'dales dancers for the ladies.

What a happy company it could be--